Ponderings.

One of the things we've found it hard to deal with since coming here is the attitudes of the people. Now, don't get me wrong...I love it here. But like every place you live, there are little things which bother you. Things that you bitch about with friends over dinner and a bottle of wine, or in my case, with my wife.

I'm an American. Born and raised. She's not. She was born and raised here, in Bulgaria. We absolutely have different points of view on a variety of subjects. However, we generally agree on about 90% of what we talk about.

At this point in time we have no plans for going back to the States. At least not for the foreseeable future. We keep a US bank account, my sister graciously lets us use her address for the few hard-copy mail items I have to deal with (like tax returns from US based companies. Hell, she even has 5 of our boxes still in storage for us because the cost of shipping is freaking ridiculous and let's face it: DVDs and books aren't exactly must-have items.), and I regularly keep tabs with people, but with the state of the recession and the fact that our apartment here is 100% paid for + her school is being paid for in full + our living expenses don't even top 400 USD a month + the houses that are being built by her mom's company (the family business, which atm Evy has no ties to) for everyone...well there's just not a lot of reasons to want to go back to the States. Coupled with the fact that while I may have differences with her mother on some things, she is a very generous person. She pays for the family to go on 4-5 vacations per year, which is great. The company is worth over 15 million Euro and growing, and while she doesn't drive a fancy car, still lives with us (a point I growl over often), and has issues with many technological toys...she always pays for meals for large groups of people, and every time we go on vacation she pays for everyone's rooms, meals, and sundries. I'm talking for large groups of people...15-20 people each time. They are all family, though. Still.

But I digress. The topic we covered today as I took a break from work and walked her to class was the inability for Bulgarians to be adventurous. In any way.

This is going to sound slightly "racist" in a sense, but don't take it the wrong way. I love living here, and I love the people. But they have one big fault, and that's their belief that anything foreign = evil/bad/ugly/nasty.

Let me give you an example. Last year we went to Italy for 10 days with a group of Bulgarians. It was an excursion, not a vacation. 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. we were walking our tails off. The issue was that every single restaurant we went to (and I mean EVERY SINGLE RESTAURANT!), our group of people bitched about the food. Honestly. Out of the 32 people who went, Evy and I were the ONLY two people who didn't complain about it. To us, it was great. We both love Italian food, I'm a big fan of wine, and we thoroughly enjoyed the experience. But Bulgarians are a very traditional people, and they dislike anything outside of their "comfort zone". They are not explorers, they are not adventurous. They want things to be the way they have always been. The food to taste the same way, the water to have the same temperature, the sheets to be the way they are back in Bulgaria, etc.

It's a huge issue. Evy is different because she lived outside of Bulgaria in the "evil" Western world. So are many of the people her generation, and basically anyone who has ever spent any time outside of Bulgaria in a (cough) civilized country. Don't get me wrong...it's civilized here. What I mean by that is....well, let me give you another example.

Bulgarians also think that rules do not apply to them. This is evident in the absolute lack of traffic laws. But more specifically let me give you an example of how this works. Recently on the news there was a story of a woman who had been living in Norway. She returned home and was stationed in one of the Ministry buildings here. She caught the Minister in charge of her division smoking in a designated non-smoking area of the building. She confronted him about the issue, saying "how can you expect people to respect your position and authority if you don't even follow the very rules you are supposedly enforcing?"

Next day, she was out of a job, on the streets.

In the same vein, one of the restaurants we were at while in Rome was a non-smoking building. One of our party members (I'll not mention names) is a smoker. He wanted to smoke. He did not agree that the restaurant should have a no smoking policy and proceeded to say that he was going to smoke and if they said anything, too bad. His excuse was that "I'm a foreigner and don't know any better", even when he could clearly see the no smoking sign. This is also the same individual who has, on more than one occasion, ranted about how anyone who is a non-smoker is a racist if they tell him that he can't smoke around them. I had to try very hard to not die from laughing the first time I heard it. We were in a car, and the driver of the car did not want him smoking in the vehicle. He literally went off on a ranting tirade, raising his voice and gesturing quite vigorously, claiming that such requests were "racist" and discriminatory against smokers.

Let's examine that for a moment, shall we? The word he used was "racist". I don't think I even need to explain that one in greater detail.

Don't get me wrong. I've been a smoker. Up until recently, in fact. But I've always believed that non-smokers should have the same right as a smoker to enjoy a restaurant in their own way. That means segregated smoking/non-smoking areas. And if you don't like it, tough shit. Go outside, or go sit in the smoking area.

Rules do not apply to Bulgarians. They do not believe in lines. If you are first in line at the market stall, it doesn't matter. People will push in front of you and shove their money on the counter and totally ignore the fact that you were there first. Traffic lights are meant to be ignored. Ambulances and emergency vehicles are obstacles keeping you from getting where it is that you want to be going and pulling aside to let them through is unheard of; after all, you were there first, and you are more important than anyone else on the road.

During the holidays recently (Christmas), Evy made some cookies to take to her grandmothers. I made a cheesy potato dish and baked a ham, along with some potato salad. We took it with us when we went.

We came home with almost the same amount of food we took. The look of disgust on people's faces when we asked them to try something "non Bulgarian" was such that we both agreed that we are never going to try and cook for the family ever again. They just don't get it. They refuse to go outside of their comfort zone and try anything new. This is the typical Bulgarian attitude. Basically, anything that isn't traditional = bad. They refuse to try new things, and when they do, the comments they make are always the same: ewwwww, it doesn't take anything like "insert name of food here" tastes back home. I don't like it.

When we went to Turkey last year we stayed at a 5 star resort that had an all-inclusive, all you can eat/drink buffet. Evy and I tried every single thing at least once. I didn't find a single item that I disliked. But the majority of our group complained about how the "rice isn't as good as it is back home" and how the "fish isn't as good as it is back home" and for the most part they all refused to try anything other than what they felt was traditional food.

For those of you who have seen the movie "A Good Year" by Ridley Scott, there's a scene in the movie where an American couple comes to this French restaurant and the woman starts asking for them to make substitutes to her salad because she wants it to taste "like it does back home". The waiter takes the menu off the table and says "Fish and chips are that way, McDonalds is over there. Cya!"

Evy and I have gotten to the point where we don't enjoy going with the groups anymore because all that happens is we have to listen to everyone complain the whole time about how things "aren't as good as they are back home". And it's not just the groups we go with...it's most Bulgarians. It's a really annoying feature. They are so grounded in tradition and the belief that anything non-Bulgarian is somehow inferior that they refuse to ever explore or be adventurous. It's extremely frustrating to be with a group of people and have to listen to them for 3 hours while at a restaurant about how "the service isn't as good as it is back home", "the salad isn't as good as it is back home", "the fish/chicken/pork/beef isn't as good as it is back home", "why don't they have "X" on the menu? They have "X" on the menu back home. This restaurant sucks".

I think the worst was watching Evy's crestfallen look after she poured all that effort into making something special for her family, only to have the majority of people at the table get this look on their face like "um. Why would you bring something like THAT to a holiday dinner? Don't you know that you are ONLY ALLOWED to bring traditional foods? What a traitorous whore you are for bringing something NON BULGARIAN!". Similarly, the looks people had on their faces when Evy's grandmother (bless her heart) was carrying my cheesy potato casserole dish around the table asking each person individually if they wanted some and almost *every* person at the table scrunched up their faces and went "ewww"...well, at least visually, if not verbally. I was giggling inside because her grandmother finally got frustrated and started putting spoonfuls on everybody's plates, regardless of what they said. The sad thing is...nobody ate any of it. And our cookies weren't even touched.

Now, I know I'm generalizing. But this is how Bulgarians are, for the most part. There are some who are more adventurous, like my wife, but they are generally relegated to those few who have lived or experienced living for a period of time outside of Bulgaria. They've grown to appreciate other foods, and the fact that rules are there for a reason. We recently met a man at the post office who has been living here for 10 years. He is half Bulgarian, half American and his family and him live in both countries for a few months each year. The first thing he said to me when he found out I was American was "so, how do you like how customer service works here?". I had to laugh, because it doesn't exist. The customer is never right. In fact, you are a hindrance to the employee behind the counter. If it weren't for you they could be smoking their cigarette in peace, or talking on the cell phone. The very fact that you showed up to give them money is an inconvenience, and they'll be damned if they can act polite or give you a smile and thank you for your service.

Again, these are generalizations. It's not like that everywhere. We live in Sofia, which is the capital, and like most cities it's busy, crammed, dirty, and people are always in a hurry. But anyway...that's my rambling take for the day. I've got some banitza that need to be pulled out of the oven and a few more articles to write before Evy gets home from school. More on the next round!